How do parents contribute to their kids’ identity crises? from a professional


Without without realising it, parents regularly unintentionally trigger identity crises in their children. An excessive amount of care and protection may hinder a child’s capacity to form a distinct identity and style of thinking. A child’s identity can be influenced by both direct and indirect factors, such as parenting and family life. Numerous families have experienced parental interference in the formative years of their children’s separate, unique ideas and feelings. Most of these parents were trying to do the right thing. They typically intervened in their child’s life to protect them from negative feelings or to make sure that their choices and actions were “right.” These children consequently learned to rely on their parents to determine their identity—that is, who they are as people—in addition to how they should feel and act.

Family therapist and relationship counsellor, Trinity, reveals how parents foster identity problems in their children in her recent Instagram post.

She claims “There is no room or invitation for the child to learn how to express themselves with distinct ideas, feelings, and needs when a loving parent is so certain that they know what is best for the child that they do not consider that the child may have valid, different ideas about what their wants, needs, and feelings. There is frequently a lot of confusion regarding identity, thoughts, and feelings as the child matures into adulthood and is exposed to new ideas. Without the chance to establish a distinct sense of self, there would likely be a lot of worried reflection on reality but little capacity for independent self-reflection. Parents who are critical and controlling, despite their best intentions, may encourage their kids to look to them for guidance on what is positive and appropriate in their lives.”

You as a parent can support your kids as they navigate an identity crisis by doing the following:

– Give them ample time and space to experiment and explore at their own speed in order to discover their distinct individuality.

They should be allowed to be who they are; pushing them to adopt a persona will only keep them from finding happiness and their actual selves.

It’s crucial to realise that they don’t have to discover who they are by a certain date because that attribute is dynamic and always changing. Let them take their time to comprehend it.